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What's the Deal?
So maybe I ripped off a Seinfeld phrase for this one, but I ask it often
when I'm sitting in my car watching stupidity drive by.
What's the deal with:
People who zip in and out of every small opening in traffic as if they have no brakes and they have to get to Midas on the double. Where are they going when they drive like that? The amazing thing is, somehow they usually avoid hitting other cars. The few accidents I've seen in progress have occurred at relatively low speeds. What do those guys study to learn to drive like that?
Tinted windows that are so dark you don't know if there's a body driving the car or if it's run away on its own. A nice deep tint can be attractive in a window, but if it's easier to see through a bottle of Guinness than through your car windows, you went too far.
Drivers who catch up to you on the expressway, Velcro themselves to your bumper and flash their headlights or bright beams at you until you get annoyed enough to merge into the next lane. They then catch up to the next car ahead and do it all over again. This "flash-to-pass" business is about a friendly as a perk blast from the car horn. Of course, people who do this are in an absolute emergency situation, the wife is about to give birth in the vehicle or the gas pedal keeps getting stuck or they're having some similar absolute emergency situation, of course.
People who drive on a toll road, and don't prepare to pay the toll until they're face-to-face with the toll gate. They have to 1) locate their wallet, 2) notice that they don't have quarters, 3) hold up traffic while they drop carefully selected nickel after nickel in the basket, and 4) wait as long as it takes for the green "thank you" lamp to light, despite the block-long line of cars waiting for them to move along.
*Driving and talking on two cell phones at once: This really did happen.
A guy got arrested because he was talking on a cell phone while driving
with one hand, when he took his one hand off of the steering wheel to answer
the other cell phone. This did not occur in Chicago.
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